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How to set boundaries in your life

By Kate Taylor

Published Date: 2018/04

How To Set Boundaries In Your Life Min

As some of you know, I have recently become a Community Ambassador for R U OK charity. I was blown away by how being open about what I’m feeling and my mental health journey as a teenager, allowed so many people in my world to open up to me about their own journeys with mental health too.

I realised that as much as I want to help everyone who connects with me, I am only one person and need to find a way to set some healthy boundaries but still show I care for those around me.

I had a session with my life coach and she helped me work through my views on boundaries and the importance of them in my life.

I learnt the following on setting boundaries during my session with Ray.

  1. Define Boundaries in my life

  2. Boundaries help you love people better

  3. Boundaries are human road signs

  4. How to set boundaries with love

An example of where I needed to set boundaries – I had a customer private message me on Facebook during my weekend, when I was having time with my family. I was almost annoyed she was interrupting my weekend but kept replying as I felt it would be rude not to. The end result was that my family missed out on my full focus for that time. My responses wouldn’t have come from a place of wanting to help and feeling positive about it and the person I was dealing with got some of my attention but as it was the weekend, there wasn’t much I could do about actioning it anyway.

I realised no one benefited from this situation and in the future, I need to explain to the person something along the lines: “I’m glad you reached out to me. Could we discuss this on Monday at 9am, then I can give you the full attention you need from me? Sending you lots of happiness and light for your weekend”. This way I can give that person my full attention on the day and time I set out especially for them and I am not comprising my family time or resenting having to respond.

Just like when we drive a car we have road rules to stick to in order to stay safe, it’s the same with boundaries.  If we don’t set them, how do we prevent things going wrong or accidents happening? “Love yourself enough to set boundaries”